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Written by Sarah Schuster.

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Depression expresses itself in many different ways, some more obvious than others. Then just the thought of taking a shower is exhausting.

If I manage to do that, I am ready for a nap. Using an excuse but really you just chickened out. Yes, I am addicted to it, holdiays not like other people. But my issues are much deeper than that.

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Not because I want attention. I prefer to text. Less pressure there. Also being anti-social.

I often get praised for it. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression.

How To Feel Happy If Don't Feel Like Celebrating Holidays

As if validation from someone else will make it all better. And no one will see me for months after, as I retreat into my safe bubble.

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I also isolate myself even though sometimes I really just hoildays someone around. I feel like a burden for biological needs I have no control over. I have to have a good enough reason for everything I do.

I feel worthless so much that I feel guilty for even thinking of putting my needs or wants first. Then I just feel like a doormat when I cave into the pressure.

While most people imagine depression equals “really sad,” unless you've it's ' cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I'm not alone. Especially when someone is asking what I want to do – I don't really want anything. “Purposely working on the holidays so I can avoid spending time with family. Don't be hesitant to talk to people, even if you feel awkward or don't like . Nothing beats loneliness and overwhelm like planning a great holiday vacation. You don't really need to book a trip, sometimes the act of planning for one is enough. Or perhaps you just don't feel like you fit in at holiday gatherings Loneliness can be a serious threat to your physical and emotional health.

My depression keeps me awake at night and my thoughts can get so overwhelming I feel physically crowded inside. Late night walks help me quiet the screaming in my head. Before depression took over my life I smiled and laughed as much as the next person.

All the Things You Don’t Need for a Perfect Holiday

Now, having lived with depression for over 15 years, the humor I find in a joke or situation is rarely visible on my face or heard in my laugh. You need to let some light in. Real Life. Real News.

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